Letters that were never written.Day 5- Your Dreams

Dear Dreams,

If I ever realized something enlightening this year, then it has to be about dreams. The thing is it's easy to dream, but not easy to follow through. It's even more scarier when people around you know about your dreams. The thought of failure becomes even more prominent because you know there are people who hold you high up there just because you dared to dream that dream. Initially, it is flattering in all aspects but as the glossiness fades off..you realize the amount of pressure. The dull reality settles in. All the what ifs start butting in and sooner than later, you start doubting your capabilities.

Many times, I have wanted to give up on my dream. It seems so far off and so unreachable, unless I marry a rich guy. But that's out of the point. I think there's only one thing that keeps me holding. The thought that if I let go of this dream, then am I not letting go of the one thing I am passionate about?

Truth is, all of us have such dreams in us. Some dare to pursue them despite all odds but sadly, there are many who bury all those dreams and move on, forgetting the passion they once had for that particular dream.

Right now, I just hope I don't end up in the latter group.

Yours truly,
Me

All good things put together.

It has definitely been a busy 2-3 weeks. Let me do some real quick updates :D

1) Divesh's Wish Party : MEGA SUCCESS. I loved each and every moment of the planning and execution. One of the most most special wishes, because of the fact that it was for him. As per usual, there were alot of learning points to take away. But I think the most important ones were about Divesh himself.  I feel very honoured to have granted a wish for a guy who is like family to me. Not to forget that his wish was truly one-of-a-kind! Keep rocking dude!  :D

2) India: I have like less than 2 more days to fly to India! CAN'T WAIT. It's been 3 years since I last saw everyone and I am so freaking excited. I love Singapore. I truly love this place and I know that there is a high probability that my future is going to be in this sunny island. But there's always this tinge of excitement/joy/elation that leaps through me whenever I go back to my homeland. Initially, I used to think that I am not appreciative of Singapore, the land that has given me this future. Only God knows what I would be doing if I was still in India. But it was years down the row that I realized that I can love both countries and there's nothing wrong in that. So yup. Can't wait for the terribly hot sun to hit me mercilessly, for the dust to clog up my nostrils and the extremely unhealthy food to make me fatter :D

3) School: Benjamin Yang is leaving SP. How should I react? Honestly? I don't know. Do I pump my fists in the air and make an elated sound for being ridden of his sometimes obnoxious attitude or do I wallow in sadness for missing a teacher who only tried to give his best in what he did (despite the outcome being different)?

On another note, the topic of attachments have been introduced. Like finally. Seems like the only options right now are Singapore and China. WHAT?! China is good okayyyy. Especially since it's going to snow at the posted area. Woo Wee said they are trying for other countries too. Let's see what turns up. Actually, either way I am cool with anything. Be it local or overseas.

4) Enrique and Adele: *crazy fan mode* I am truly mesmerized by their voices. There's something magnetic in it. I only started listening to Adele after Alexis introduced some songs. Usually when it comes to music, I lean towards tamil music. I am into one particular guy, A.R.Rahman. I still listen to his songs from like 1990s, the golden period of ARR. When it comes to english music, I am kinda selective and it takes time for me to be fully involved in it.

So.That's about it for now. It might be some time from now before I do the next update.

Cheerio :)

Pictures speak a thousand.

Mark Twain: You gave me my first ever classic literature experience.

Rainy days in India: Let's go boating

Follow the compass: Your heart.

Most prominent part of my childhood: Swings.

Damn. I forgot to credit the photos. Really sorry about that. Sincere thanks to people who own these photos.

Letters that were never written.Day 4- Your Sibling

Dear Bro,

Remember the time when I was about 5 you rubbed medicated oil (that is used for headache) on my thumb just so that I will be rid of the habit of suckling my thumb? Dude, I won’t ever forgive you for that. Not really a pleasant memory you know. Not that it stopped me from suckling it till I was seven. But the point is, you have tormented me from day one. From the earliest of memories, my brother, which is you, was always the bully. Remember the times when we fought fist to fist. Oh man, I lost count actually. I swear, for the most part of my childhood I shrieked in horror, screamed in anger, burst into tears when I saw you.

But that was when I was just a midget. We grew a little more and I was in secondary school and you were about to graduate from there. You were the one who helped me through the first ever stumble I had while entering teen hood. That was probably the first ever incident that made me look up to you.

 Years down the row, I wonder what happened. And I answer my own question by realizing life happened. The cat and dog fights decreased and I am sure I didn’t hear any more of those shouting matches. Gradually I started looking forward to a life with such a brother. I learnt to appreciate your lame humour, I even learnt to admire your uncanny talent for business. But mostly I enjoyed your noisy presence. The way you would fill a room with life with your very entrance. 

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I realized how true it is when you left to pursue your studies. The house is definitely quieter and the dinner table has a huge gap.

The years are rolling past us and time is whizzing by. All I can say is: Your annoying little sister loves you because she knows she can’t get a better brother than you.

Yours truly,

Me.

Have you ever felt what's it like to sit in a class and not understand anything? The teacher's just talking and you are totally blanked out. To me, it's one of the worst feelings ever. There's a pressure building in my head and all I want to do is to tell the lecturer to shut up. Wait for me.
Worse still, this lecturer makes it a point that we don't write/take down notes while he's talking. And he doesn't give notes. Rather he makes us fill in all those huge chunks of gaps. Just tells me how much spoon fed I have been by my teachers throughout primary and secondary school. That feeling of frustration is further enhanced when you actually see students who are able to understand, retain the information and  take down their notes. All I think of now is running away from this class.

It sucks when you aren't an auditory learner. You just hear this jumble of words which swim in your mind. They threaten to overflow and make your brain juices leak. Ok I am just crapping. But yes, it's an horrible feeling.

Plan for next week: I am bringing in a voice recorder and recording his lecture. At least I can play back and absorb everything slowly at home.


I might as well update all my other stuff. My class did venipuncture on Monday for practical. It's the coolest thing ever. You need immense concentration on the needle and also ensure that your hands are steady. Strangely, now that I have tried it on another person, I am excited to do it again :D

Today is cca fair.And I am joining tennis! :D :D :D


Cheerio.

Resolutions.

As much as this was due about 4 months back, it's never too late to write one now right? Especially with the beginning of second year in poly. So here goes..

 [In no particular order]

1. Revise what I have been taught everyday. At least, that day's portion.
2. Finish what I am supposed to finish on that day itself. Be it homework or cleaning my room.
3. Eat more healthily. Which means cut down my chocolate intake.
4. Make time for everyone.
5. Be more proactive.

Ok,that's about all I can think of. I can probably write even more, but will I follow? Honestly, following all these is going to be a herculean task.

First day of school was really fun! :D Met many new people (didn't really interact though). Learnt how to draw blood from a...dummy.The real thing is next week. My awesome partner or rather pitiful victim is going to be Vivian.I apologize in advance for whatever mishap that is going to occur.

That's about it for now.Cheerio.  

Letters that were never written.Day 2- Your parents

Hiiii Parents,

Sorry for the shouting matches, the sour faces and the stupid arguments. But that's what makes us a family right? :D

<3 you peeps.

Yours truly,

Me

Invisible connections

So for a few days I didn’t check my facebook, friends’ blogs, go online on msn or sms anyone that much. I can safely declare that I barely used my com at all. Was busy being hooked to my storybooks ;)

However, today, I decided to see whether my friends updated their blogs and BOOMZ. Each and every one of them did. Was it surprising? Yes it was. It was surprising to know that within a span of few days some things happened and I had been totally clueless. And then I moved on to facebook. Boy, was I O.O? For that split second it felt like without the social network, I had been living in a world of my own the past few days. A world where everyone just walks past you and you are not aware. It felt somewhat like that. It was through mediums like facebook and blog that I caught up with everyone. So..should I feel happy that facebook has enabled me to catch up with friends in the blink of an eye or should I be sad that without it I am pretty much someone who is clueless?

At this rate,I don’t think I can ever bring myself to delete my facebook account or quit blogging.

Sidenote: Supernatural Season 3 is pretty damn fine ;)

Pretty much the usual.

Heylo :)

There's in fact alot to update, but then again nothing. Some highlights.

1) Voyage De La Vie was A W E S O M E. Trust me, it's THE best circus ever. Really loved it and of course the goodie bags and lunch box were yum yum :D Oh man, the various acts are replaying in my mind now. And of course, the kids today were delightful. They worked their magic, as always.

2) I can't wait for dance. For a person who disliked dance, I think it's pretty funny that I am falling in love with it. I didn't realize how much I love it until I stopped for the past few days. Or maybe, I just miss goofing around with Youth Comm.

3) The wish granting with Firdaus for our wish kiddo was terrific. Fir is an amazing partner to work with. I learnt a lot from him. A lot. For that, thank you Firdaus :) Of course, the wish is not completely over, or at least until Golf Charity 2011...and I am really really looking forward to the new choreo! :D

4) Talked with Satya, Oviyum and Kiru tonight! :D :D :D You girls are the rock in my life. It's like been ages since I talked with you guys. But when I did today, it felt like we never had a gap. We picked up from where we left. I really don't have that kind of relationship with all my friends..and I am so so thankful that I have it with you peeps. Can't wait to see you ladies!

5) This is dedicated to a friend who has an amazing talent for piano. You are probably going to HATE me for publicizing this but I am going to keep this anonymous because I want to be alive. But yes back to the point. I think you have amazing skills when it comes to the piano. I don't even know whether you read my blog,but I hope you read this. Don't ever be afraid of showing the world what you are capable of. You are musically talented and if I were you I would be flaunting it right now. Ok maybe not flaunt, but you know, not hiding it from everyone.There's a fine line that exists for a lot of things. And there's such a line for boasting and "sharing-your-talent".You, my friend, don't have it in you to boast around. So, here's me (the musically impaired) saying that you are very talented and be proud of it! And oh, don't ever be afraid to chase your dreamzzzz :) And I just wanted to write this here cause I may forget what I want to say later or I might not say it at all. So yeah.

6) My show/movie list for this hols: Supernatural, Vampire Diaries, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Lie To Me and a heck lot of movies. Black Swan, Social Network, Never Let Me Go, Patch Adams, 127 Hours, Rango, Alice in Wonderland etc. Not sure whether I finish watching this whole list, but oh well there's always the next hols to look forward too (:

7) I have started compiling old photos. Trying to put up a digital photo album. I love organizing old photos. Brings back memories. There's this quote I once read. "I love photos, because the best thing about it is that it never changes even when the person in it does". Yes, a tumblr quote.

Yup, 7 updates for tonight. Cheerio.

Letters that were never written.Day 2- Your crush

Dear Crush,

According to dictionary.com a crush is something that is intense but usually short-lived infatuation.Hmm. Which means I don't really have a crush do I? But oh I can remember all my past crushes. Pretty much an interesting bunch of people I guess. In a way, the type of people you crush on tells the type of person you are. SO. With inference to the past crushes, I like someone who is funny, sweet and caring, responsible, hot, sportive, adventurous, lovable etc etc. Doesn't really say much does it? :P

Ok, I do thank all my ex-crushes for making me the person i am today. You guys didn't play such a big role but I think I was definitely influenced by you in some way. I am glad that till today we are all good friends and nothing has really come between us :)

I really don't have much more to say. So yup, that's about it.

Yours truly, 

Me.

Letters that were never written.Day1- Your Bestfriend

I was studying and needed a break to keep myself awake.PRESTO! I decided to blog.again. Once a friend mentioned about these 30 letters, 30 days thing that is usually done on Tumblr. Now I don't know why specifically Tumblr, but hey I decided to do it on my blog :D

So here's my first letter.

                                                                                                                                                                         

Dear BFFs,

I don't know what I would do without you guys. Even though we have not been meeting up as often, I think we are constantly thinking about the other and hoping everything's going on well.

K

We instantly clicked. I don't know what it was, but we were immediate friends. Remember all the HTL classes together and those dance practices? We did have a ball didn't we? I think I have always looked up to the way you handled problems. You are in control and you make sure everything turns out fine. You are independent and I have always admired you in that. Remember how alike we were in terms of looks in Sec 1? And of course, remember the time you came with your mum to see me? Seriously man, I had the best time of my life that day. I laughed till my sides ached and till tears rolled down my cheeks. And oh, I am sorry to say this, I still think your mum has better humor than you do :P

O

Ms Pretty Role model. That's what you are to  me always. I came to poly because of you. You were an inspiration and you still are. I used to have so much of fun watching you and K bickering :P Bicker about single thing. You are forever so modest about your achievements in school, but we know to what great heights you have soared. I am sorry that I was one of those who discouraged you from choosing poly is secondary school. I think it's the best decision you could have ever made. I am sorry once again, but teasing you is just so fun. Your funny reactions and how "vain pot" you can be when it comes to your hair. It so damn entertaining. But having said that, I always loved your sophistication-Now, now,  don't expect me to repeat that again.

S

Mum's the word for you. When we kids go out of control, mum always steps in. Remember my O level days? You were one friend who was there for me constantly. Day in, day out. You would pester me via sms to study properly and keep doing practice exercises. I really appreciate that man. And how can I forget you tutoring me IOChem? It was the best crash course I ever received. And remember all those nonsensical smses we sent back and forth? I still remember the one saying you were worried for me cause my sense of logic was going down the drain. And that I was heading towards woodbridge and that you wish me regards and farewell. Yes dear friend, I still remember that. I also remembering smsing you saying I fell in love with a teacher. But your parents saw it and I sent the second msg saying,"...in my dreams." Good times eh.

L

Has it really been 13 years since we got to know each other? And we had it going from the first meet right? We have certainly been through thick and thin, haven't we? Remember all those sleepovers? I miss your starry bedroom with the luminous night sky you had in your room. It was dreamy and falling asleep under the sky was just beautiful. Remember all our makeovers. We loved dabbling with make up with the help of Youtube tutorials. Remember all our music lessons? Man, we still tremble when Saturday night comes. And oh, remember our awesome bus rides to school? I loved them so much. They really made my mornings. Can't wait for our trip around the world!

Ah. I can remember so many more stuff that we did together. So many other sweet memories. Best Friends Forever might sound cheesy and corny but heck about that. I think it's so apt for us. :)

Yours truly,

Me.

There would be a point of time in your life when you learn to do things for the pleasure of doing and not for the acknowledgements. Even if it means that you are not going to get acknowledged for it or worse you are going to be seen as someone not responsible. For you know how much the work means to you. I think it's the point when you know that you have been true to yourself, heck about the others who didn't recognize it. All that matters is the fact that you know the truth.

BLEH :I

OK three things happened today (other than my math exam):

1st

I realized that I am falling sick. My throat's all itchy witchy. And my eyes are all droopy.Argh. This doesn't feel good. I WOULD HATE IT if I fall sick now. Now of all times when I need to hale and hearty. 

*Drowning in water*

2nd

SP is planning to start a new course that specializes in SOCIAL WORK AND HUMANITARIAN AIDS.

OMGGGGGGGGGG. You are kidding me right?! Like hello, you start it when I am about to go to year two.SP, you suck. SIGH. It's been just a week since I was talking about my future with a friend and I finally said it aloud, about what I want to do. And you throw this at me. Now I am going to sit through the next two years, seeing the new batch of students coming for THAT new course and I would be trying to put myself in their shoes.SIGH.Ok Nivedha, stop whining. You chose Biomed willingly. And oh, they asked us a suggestion for the course name and I put in Diploma in Philanthropy.Doesn't really sum up the course outcomes but yeah it sound nice right? DPT or DPL. I dunno.

3rd
I can't sign up for New York University (School of the Arts), Future Filmmakers workshop D: D: D: Damn damn saddddd. It starts in April and lasts till somewhere mid June. And it's on every Saturdays 9am-6pm. Two very strong reasons why I can't apply. SIGHHHHHHHHHHH. But it sounds so awesommmmmmeeeeeee. The students who attend the course get to make a short film and have a movie premiere. It would be like a red carpet event with the directors (the students), actors, crew attending the whole event.AND IT'S FOC. Damn. Now I am really upset. Who will get such a chance and reject it? Yes, the one and only Nivedha Ganesan will do that.


Horrible night eh.


Cheerio.

"If you really miss me, you come and see me."

Ok, I am  blogging cause I felt so sleepy and I wanted to continue studying. But obviously, I couldn't keep myself awake. Hopefully, this will freshen me up :D

Isn't the text below, so very true? I think I read it thrice. So very true.

I am definitely catching the movie :D And I am going to rewatch Black Swan again.

I was shooting a scene in my new film, No Strings Attached, in which I say to Natalie Portman,

“If you miss me, you can’t text, you can’t email, you can’t post it on my Facebook wall. If you really miss me, you come and see me.”

I began to think of all of the billions of intimate exchanges sent daily via fingers and screens, bouncing between satellites and servers. With all this texting, emailing, and social networking, I started wondering, are we all becoming so in touch with one another that we are in danger of losing touch?

It used to be that boy met girl and they exchanged phone numbers. Anticipation built. They imagined the entire relationship before a call ever happened. The phone rang. Hearts pounded. “Hello?” Followed by a conversation that lasted two hours but felt like two minutes and would be examined with friends for two weeks. If all went well, a date was arranged. That was then.

Now we exchange numbers but text instead of calling because it mitigates the risks of early failure and eliminates those deafening moments of silence. Now anticipation builds. Bdoop. “It was NICE meeting u” Both sides overanalyze every word. We talk to a friend, an impromptu Cyrano: “He wrote nice in all caps. What does that mean? What do I write back?” Then we write a response and delete it 10 times before sending a message that will appear 2 care, but not 2 much. If all goes well, a date will be arranged.

Whether you like it or not, the digital age has produced a new format for modern romance, and natural selection may be favoring the quick-thumbed quip peddler over the confident, ice-breaking alpha male. Or maybe we are hiding behind the cloak of digital text and spell-check to present superior versions of ourselves while using these less intimate forms of communication to accelerate the courting process. So what’s it really good for?

There is some argument about who actually invented text messaging, but I think it’s safe to say it was a man. Multiple studies have shown that the average man uses about half as many words per day as women, thus text messaging. It eliminates hellos and goodbyes and cuts right to the chase. Now, if that’s not male behavior, I don’t know what is. It’s also great for passing notes. there is something fun about sharing secrets with your date while in the company of others. think of texting as a modern whisper in your lover’s car.

Sending sweet nothings on Twitter or Facebook is also fun. in some ways, it’s no different than sending flowers to the office: You are declaring your love for everyone to see. Who doesn’t like to be publicly adored. Just remember that what you post is out there and there’s some stuff you can’t un-see. But the reality is that we communicate with every part of our being, and there are times when we must use it all. When someone needs us, he or she needs all of us. There’s no text that can replace a loving touch when someone we love is hurting.

We haven’t lost romance in the digital age, but we may be neglecting it. In doing so, antiquated art forms are taking on new importance. The power of a hand-written letter is greater than ever. It’s personal and deliberate means more than an email or text ever will. It has a unique scent. It requires deciphering. But, most important, it’s flawed There are errors in handwriting, punctuation, grammar, and spelling that show our vulnerability. And vulnerability is the essence of romance. It’s the art of being uncalculated, the willingness to look foolish, the courage to say,

“This is me, and I’m interested in you enough to show you my flaws with the hope that you may embrace me for all that I am but, more importantly, all that I am not.”

- Ashton Kutcher (Source)

“If you really miss me, you come and see me.”

Moving on

Today I got to know that someone who is of my age group, died yesterday. I never knew her personally. For that matter, I have never met her. But I have thought about her and had prayed for her well being. Not just me, all of us did. But I guess her time was up.

No one really saw it coming, everyone was hell bent on her speedy recovery. But sometimes what we get is different from what we want. I don't know. Maybe I would like to say God has bigger plans for her. Or maybe I would like to say she found peace. Or maybe it was fated. Whatever it is, the point is she isn't here anymore. I don't know whether she accomplished whatever she wanted to do with her life, whether she lived it to the fullest at least for a day. Have I ever done that? Have I ever gone to bed thinking, "Yes, today my life feels fulfilling. Today I am completely rid of regrets and worries. Today I am happy with the way things are. Not just contented but truly happy." Have I ever heard myself say that? There have been days when I have been happier than other days..but has there ever been a day when I felt if I died now, I would die without regrets and worries. Honestly,I can't remember.

Dear S, thank you for pressing the pause button in my life today. You made me pause and wonder and for that I am grateful. There was a time when I relished my life. But lifestyle and situation made it such that I stopped being grateful for the smallest of things. Thanks for reminding me about them today. Where ever you are, may you be blessed with love and affection.

Love,
Me.

Lovesick

Not that I am against V Day, but for a lack of a better title, I decided to use Lovesick. Yesterday was kinda fun I  guess. I felt like I was very happy, too lightheaded. Maybe it was the love in the air. We spent out afternoon doing presentations for the Microbio Experiment (I keep forgetting the term)..which went alright, other than the some weird questions. Lunch was made awesome by Min Li's *YUM YUM YUM* cheesecake! :D It had been quite some time since I had eaten a cheesecake and it felt refreshing as Adhi mentioned. I am not a professional when it comes to commenting about the food but for Min Li's I realized the flavour was fresh and that I loved eating it. THANK YOU MIN LI! You definitely had a lot of love coming from us yesterday :))

Chem whizzed past me. Usually I will be very restless by the end of the 2 hours. But by the time it was 4.50pm, I was pretty surprised. Ms Yulia was really really awesome and she gave us iochem notes for chapters 1-12, which is basically the whole thing. Handwritten notes! Can you believe it?! Not even my sec 4 teachers have done that for us. Ms Yulia, I really hope I make your efforts worthy and get a good grade from the test and exam. Thank you to all those lovely people who added more love to my day by giving everyone chocolates! :D

Ah. Then it was showtime. A couple of us from the YC decided to catch the Black Swan. Even though we were about 25 mins late, thanks to me and I am really really sorry about that, I think we quickly caught on with the storyline. Maybe I am a weakling who just can't watch such movies, but I do remember the tears that came due to fear for the character (weird right? afterall, it's only a movie) and I was hugging my bag for some sort of hold. The movie itself has so much to say about itself and it was only on the way back home I realized it was about schizophrenia, or that's what it was (I assume). I want to read the book. I think it will be in depth and give voice to all the questions that were raised. Can't wait to go looking for it.

Dinner yesterday was thumbs up! :D Totally didn't expect my mum to prepare candlelight dinner. Her menu was pretty impressive. Nothing too heavy but it was very filling. We had tomato basil soup, dim sum with lime chilli sauce ( which I think stole the show away), cucumber dill salad, potato rosties and apple lemon tea to complete the dinner. As for dessert, she made waffles with roasted cinnamon banana and ice cream. Amazing right?! It definitely was a treat :) Thank you Amma! :D (Not that she reads my blog.oh well)

That is pretty much how I celebrated V Day. I did miss the SMSS way of celebration with all the girls going crazy and the school being swamped with roses, chocolates, gifts and lots of hugs. It never felt like Valentines' Day, more like a crazy friendship day. Oh well, time changes and today was a good day too (:

Thus far, I have never really seen V Day as a day for couples. Maybe it's because I mostly spend it at school or home.But when I went out yesterday, I could see all those happy couples going out on their dates. Maybe it felt slightly odd or maybe it was because I was cooking up a story for each couple in my head. Not really sure. But whatever it was, I definitely felt the warm love from family and friends.

Cheerio.

Perks Of Being A Wallflower

"In this fast-paced world, we seem to constantly wish upon miracles. Getting immediate promotions at work place, being a star student in school, and climbing the social ladder are some examples of what we consider miracles. But, I wonder how many of us realize that the biggest miracle of life is to be alive and kicking for the moment and living it to the fullest." -Nivedha Ganesan

The quote about the wallflower reminded me about this quote I wrote ages ago. Back then, I wondered whether what I said is true. Is it truly good enough to be happy with what you have? Aren't you supposed to be hungry for more which will eventually lead you to success? But seeing this quote from the Perks Of Being A Wallflower told me that no, there's nothing wrong with being happy with what you have.

Credits to : http://clothescaptioned.blogspot.com/2009/01/perks-of-being-wallflower.html

Cheerio.

Whirlpool

I miss last year.

This year has been a whirlpool of emotions..and come to think of it..it's only been a month since 2011 started.I hope I don't screw up this year :/
I feel so scared of lagging behind,of not accomplishing what I set out to do.It's a feeling that makes me drown in sorrow and turmoil.It feels like age is finally catching up and I am truly turning and feeling 19. People around me have been expecting so much more from me. Heck,I am starting to have expectations on myself. That's the most scariest thing of all. I have always gone with the flow and never really pressurized myself to do anything. But now disappointment settles in heavily when I don't accomplish.

Tracy's leaving tonight and I am so very anxious.I don't know.It's really stupid I guess. I think it will settle when she settles down properly. As much as I am happy for her,the new and fresh beginning..I am also worried for her.Trace,I know this is a public confession but screw all that. I want you to know that I am always here,we all are and yes forgetting you would be impossible for me (: I really can't wait for July to come around!

Exams are around the corner and once again I am so very scared. I think I am going to stay back everyday to study in school.Gotta pick up speed.Jia You everyone! :D

Pekanbaru was bliss.I really had so much spending those four days at the estate.Away from technology and unnecessary disruptions. Spending time with nature made me realize how much I have been missing out in life.Sigh.IF ONLY Singapore isn't so competitive and harsh.

Random Thought: If I were to give up on you,it would be like giving up on myself.

This is me.

OK,I know I am supposed to be studying right now. But screw it. I found this on the net and decided to do it. 

Bold all those that applies to you :D

• I’m loud.
• I’m obnoxious.
• I’m sarcastic.
• I’m cocky.
• I have a bad temper.
• For the most part i don’t like people.
• I’m easy to get along with.
• I have more enemies than friends.
• I’ve smoked.
• I’ve smoked weed.
• I drink coffee.
• I clean my room daily. (I am not a neat freak,if you are wondering.Just like my room to be neat)
• I cry easily.

My appearance:

• I wear makeup
• I wear a piece of jewellery at all times
• I wear contacts
• I wear glasses
• I have braces
• I change my hair colour often
• I straighten my hair often
• I have a piercing
• I have small feet

Relationships:

• I’m in a relationship now.
• I’m single
• I’m crushin’ 
• I’ve missed an ex before.
• I’m always scared of being hurt.
• An ex has physically abused me at least once.
• I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
• I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did. 
• I’ve been in love more than two times.
• I believe in love at first sight.
• I believe lust is more important than love.

Friendships:

• I have a best friend. 
• I have at least ten friends.
• I’ve gotten a phone call in the last 48 hours from a friend.
• I’ve beaten up a friend.
• I’ve been in a serious fight with a friend.
• I can trust at least five people with my life.

Experiences:

• I’ve been on a plane.
• I’ve been on a train.
• Someone close to me has died
• I’ve taken a taxi.
• I’ve taken a city bus.
• I’ve taken a school bus.
• I’ve gone bungee jumping.
• I’ve made a speech.
• I’ve been in some sort of club.
• I’ve won an award.
• I’ve spent 24 hours on the computer straight.
• I’ve been in a physical fight. (Do those with brothers count? :P)

Music:

• I listen to R&B.
• I listen to country.
• I listen to pop.
• I listen to techno.
• I listen to rock. 
• I’m one of those people who play songs repeatedly until i hate it.
• I hate the radio.
• I download music.
• I buy CD’s.

Television:

• I spend at least six hours a day watching television.
• I watch soap operas daily.
• I’m in love with Days Of Our Lives.
• I’ve seen and liked the O.C.
• I’ve seen and liked One Tree Hill.
• I’ve seen and liked America’s Next Top Model.
• I’ve seen and like Popular.
• I’ve seen and like 24.
• I’ve seen and liked CSI.
• I’ve seen and like Everwood.

Family Life:

• I get along with both of my parents.
• My biological parents are still together.
• I have at least one brother.
• I have at least one sister.
• I have at least one step brother/sister.
• I have at least one half brother/sister.
• I’ve been kicked out of the house.
• I’ve ran away from my home.
• I’ve sworn at my parents.
• I’ve made my parents cry.
• I’ve lied to my parents.
• I’ve lied to my parents about where I am.
• I’ve lied to my parents about what I’m doing.
• I’ve lied to my parents so I’d be allowed out.
• I’ve walked out when I’ve been grounded.

Hair:

• I’ve been brown. 
• I’ve had streaks.
• I’ve cut my hair in the past year.
• I’ve dyed my hair in the past year.
• I’ve been blonde. 
• I’ve had black.
• I’ve been red.
• I’ve been light brown.
• I’ve been medium brown.
• I’ve been blue/green.
• I’ve gotten my hair thinned.
• I use conditioner.
• I’ve used silk therapy.
• I’ve used hot oil treatments.
• I’ve curled my hair.
• I’ve straightened my hair.
• I’ve ironed my hair.
• I’ve braided my hair.

School:

• I’ve yelled at a teacher.
• I’ve been suspended.
• I’ve had an in-school suspension.
• I’ve been sent to the principals office.
• I’ve walked out of class.
• I’ve skipped an entire day of school.
• I’ve skipped a whole month of one certain class.
• I’ve failed a test.
• I’ve cheated on a test.
• I’ve helped someone else cheat on a test.
• I’ve failed Art.
• I’ve failed P.E.
• I’ve failed math.
• I’ve failed science.
• I’ve failed another class.
• A teacher has called my parents.

This test is kinda boring :/ Let me go hunt for better ones :)